Department of Germanic Languages & Literatures University of Toronto
Becoming a Hopeful Pessimist
by Elisabeth Lange
Nearly nine years ago, I moved to Toronto from Germany to enroll direct admit doctoral studies in the Department of Germanic Languages and Literatures. Coming from what felt like a vast and anonymous undergraduate German Studies program at Leipzig University, I was pleasantly surprised by the collegial and intimate atmosphere that awaited me at U of T. Here, professors not only knew me by name—it was also normal to address them by their first names. This was new and refreshing to me, a stark contrast to my experience in Leipzig, where I often felt reduced to a mere “Immatrikulationsnummer” (enrollment number). The closeness I shared with fellow graduate students, along with the accessibility of staff and faculty, was immensely helpful in navigating early feelings of disorientation and loneliness.
Only later did I realize that such negative feelings could also serve as a source of inspiration and strength. In my dissertation, I connected my admiration for the literature of Sibylle Berg and Marlen Haushofer with a longstanding fascination for themes such as deviance and despair. Titled “Hoping without Hope: Positive Pessimism in the Literary Works of Marlen Haushofer and Sibylle Berg” and defended in November 2024, my thesis explored the positive undercurrents in stories often dismissed as “negative” or “hopeless.” I found it deeply rewarding to interpret these texts and reflect on urgent societal matters, from the temporary, enigmatic state of existence to the human tendency toward (self-)destruction. In the literature of Berg and Haushofer, I discovered meaning within meaninglessness and moments of levity within darkness.
My time at U of T was also shaped by experiences beyond research. I became involved with the marvellous iPRAKTIKUM team to help facilitate undergraduate internships in Germany and the GTA. I also developed a genuine passion for teaching language and topic courses and am deeply grateful for the opportunity to have taught a variety of classes over the years. It’s a bit ironic that I became proficient in understanding and explaining German grammar while living outside the German-speaking world. Of course, it is satisfying to place the two infamous letters “Dr.” before my name at the end of this journey, but they can never fully encompass the multifaceted experience I’ve had learning, collaborating, and teaching at U of T over nearly a decade.
